Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in sjamesparsonsjr's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Thursday, February 26th, 2009
5:04 pm	Geography of Men and Woman THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN       Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half       discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!       Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well       developed and open to trade, especially for someone with       cash.       Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very       hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.       Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently       aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.       Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain,       with a glorious and all conquering past.       Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has       been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes       twice, takes care of business.       Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada,       self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.       After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful,       with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...only       those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual       knowledge visit there.       THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN       Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran, ruled by nuts. (Comment on this)
Monday, December 29th, 2008
7:55 am	Everything I Know About Business I Learned From Poker Everything I Know About Business I Learned From Poker Posted by Tony H. (CEO) Dec 27, 2008 EVALUATING MARKET OPPORTUNITIES • Table selection is the most important decision you can make. • It's okay to switch tables if you discover it's too hard to win at your table. • If there are too many competitors (some irrational or inexperienced), even if you're the best it's a lot harder to win. MARKETING AND BRANDING • Act weak when strong, act strong when weak. Know when to bluff. • Your "brand" is important. • Help shape the stories that people are telling about you. FINANCIALS • Always be prepared for the worst possible scenario. • The guy who wins the most hands is not the guy who makes the most money in the long run. • The guy who never loses a hand is not the guy who makes the most money in the long run. • Go for positive expected value, not what's least risky. • Make sure your bankroll is large enough for the game you're playing and the risks you're taking. • Play only with what you can afford to lose. • Remember it's a long term game. You will win or lose individual sessions, but it's what happens in the long term that matters. STRATEGY • Don't play games that you don't understand, even if you see lots of other people making money from them. • Figure out the game when the stakes aren't high. • Don't cheat. Cheaters never win in the long run. • Stick to your principles. • You need to adjust your style of play throughout the night as the dynamics of the game change. Be flexible. • Be patient and think long term. • The players with the most stamina and focus usually win. • Differentiate yourself. Do the opposite of what the rest of the table is doing. • Hope is not a good plan. • Don't let yourself go "on tilt". It's much more cost effective to take a break, walk around, or leave the game for the night. CONTINUAL LEARNING • Educate yourself. Read books and learn from others who have done it before. • Learn by doing. Theory is nice, but nothing replaces actual experience. • Learn by surrounding yourself with talented players. • Just because you win a hand doesn't mean you're good and you don't have more learning to do. You might have just gotten lucky. • Don't be afraid to ask for advice. CULTURE • You've gotta love the game. To become really good, you need to live it and sleep it. • Don't be cocky. Don't be flashy. There's always someone better than you. • Be nice and make friends. It's a small community. • Share what you've learned with others. • Look for opportunities beyond just the game you sat down to play. You never know who you're going to meet, including new friends for life or new business contacts. • Have fun. The game is a lot more enjoyable when you're trying to do more than just make money. Current Mood: Sleepy (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 20th, 2008
3:34 am	Hook deep piercing lung sulfur flamed sparked soul survivor opaque silver serpents swim the air launched tobacco staffs rings float, flared nostrils, pain released heart slows and relaxes youth found habits locks shackles bound in desired nervous times passes empty white packs shined with wrapper ash falls gravities pull, scattered against the wind and time finger tapping, hands shacking, mouth tongue moisten Tall thin rugged cowboy silhouette atop camel Cancers black hand rattles coffins nail Fend, withdrawn pain time scheduled. *NOTE I DON'T SMOKE* Current Mood: Sleepy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008
11:32 am	Hears Drink As the well wale the water sang Drip went the buckets spill dry mouth slops waters thurst the cup song of aww echoed orifice deep glass ring notes are played as empty left cold freezes cubes hard for next quench the symphony of hydration. ~ S James Parsons Jr (Comment on this)
Friday, August 15th, 2008
2:56 am	Iraq Cloudless blue sea of heat sand trap of time forgotten rock pain my booted heal tomorrow another today today another yesterday temperature hot and nothing to do reading fills my mind iron fills my muscles bullshit fills my days tax free and loving it only 7 more days until mail drop grass greener, not on this side river wet but dirty this country is dirty baptism of fire, biblical proportions. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
2:47 am	Iraq Knight My HESCO castle tan strong heavy grade the sorceress mystic eye, GBOSS Sees for miles, in the day & night, hot & cold Mounting my pathetic stallion M1114 slow, heavy, out-of-date, farm mule sheathed black steal M16 sword sharpened at condition (1)one ready to lay leather boots lace crafted by DANNER'S heavy, hot, tough and rugged my body armor, FLACK, harden porcelain bull, tan, heavy and oukward, slows the warrior helmet, buckled padding worn Kevlar protection with ballistic eyes M1114 done feeding at JP8 troff smell & spill burn the nose and fuels my farm mule guidance by map, DAGGER shows the way great for directions but a horrible guide yet I see no battle, no enemy, no friend but the eye of the present farmer with his pathetic flock. (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 26th, 2008
2:09 pm	Rain Kamakazi hits from sky's face. Paint flowers, hills, grass with life. Impact ripples leaves rings of kinetic power. Force drives the explosions sprinkles near by. Bright flashes over head the sky screams and roars fiery impact burns the surface. Gloom covers the sun choking light Dark leads to cool breezes Dry earth is mud between my toes Bright flashes over head the sky screams and roars fiery impact burns the surface. Another long fall from heaven to the earth. Direct hit of life adds to the rivers lakes and sea. Puddles form and combine deepen and fill. Erosion destroys hills and carves a new the drops combine and run flee for safety Bright flashes over head the sky screams and roars fiery impact burns the surface. Day light cracks the blanket of darkness looming clouds and miss grab a hold of light refraction move light through his fingers reds, oranges, yellows, greens, blues, indigos, and violets arc from gods hands and stats all is well. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 9th, 2008
9:40 am	50 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE 1. Set foot on each of the seven continents. Antarctica might be a tough one, but once you’ve reached all seven you can truly call yourself a world traveler. 2. Cross a country on a bicycle. A bicycle tour takes some planning, but it beats being separated from a country though a passenger-side window. 3. Ride something bigger than a horse. Trekking through the jungle on the back of a two story tall elephant will surely be something you remember forever. 4. Live like a local for a month. The experience of visiting native peoples will give you way more insight into another way of life than two years hopping from one backpacker ghetto to the next. 5. Visit a “real” blues bar in Chicago. What better way to leave music’s commercialism behind and find the soul of the blues? 6. Learn another language. This is definitely a weighty and time-consuming proposition, but there are plenty of resources out there to ease the process. 7. Go heli-skiing. The access to snow and terrain via heli is different (read: better) that anything else you’ll ever experience. 8. Travel India by train. With its extensive rail network, this mode of transport is the best way to see one of the world’s most colorful and diverse countries. 9. Climb one of the world’s Seven Summits. Climbing mountains is not for the faint-hearted, but everyone has had a dream of standing atop one. 10. Dive with a whale shark. Swimming with these gentle giants is among the most powerful wilderness experiences in the world. 11. Participate in a Carnival parade in Brazil. You haven’t had a good night out until you’ve been to the biggest party in a nation of big parties. 12. Dance Tango in Argentina. 13. Surf. It’s not about being a ripper but just catching waves. 14. SCUBA in the Great Barrier Reef. The largest coral reef in the world is a must for dive enthusiasts. It is the world’s most unique aquatic environment. 15. Publish an article about your travels. Part of traveling is sharing your experiences with others. Plus, getting published might be easier than you think. 16. Volunteer abroad for a month. 17. Follow in the footsteps of your favorite travel book. What better guide than a book that inspired you to travel in the first place? 18. Take a bush plane ride into Africa’s interior. These lightly visited regions are filled with unique cultures and diverse wildlife. 19. Cross a glacier on foot. Traversing these fast-disappearing natural wonders is an adventure that future generations might not be able to experience. 20. Visit the source of one of the world’s great rivers. Great rivers, like the Nile, have humble beginnings. 21. Climb an active volcano. 22. Buy a boat and learn to sail. Before the Brothers Wright, everyone traveled by wind power. It’s still the most sustainable way to travel there is. 23. Follow your food from field to table. Most people in the world still eat what they have picked with their own hands. Why not get back to these basics? 24. Bathe in the Ganges. What better way to experience the spiritual heart of India? 25. Travel around the world. Sure, you could do this without ever setting foot outside of planes and airports, but few people ever truly traverse the entire globe. Round the world tickets are great for budget-minded wanderers. 26. Photograph an endangered species. Aside from an image you can keep for a lifetime, it will remind you, and others, how fragile life can be. 27. Participate in Burning Man . As they say: “Trying to explain Burning Man to someone who has never been is like trying to explain color to a blind person.” 28. Spend 24 hours alone in the jungle. 29. Learn how to make a national dish. What is the one and only thing that everyone has in common? Eating. 30. Teach English in a foreign country. Sure, it’s a way to fund your travels, but also the experience of a lifetime. 31. Attend a music festival in another country. 32. Cross a country using only public transportation. See a country the way most of its people do: from the window of a bus, train, or ferry. 33. Spend the night in a storied/historic hotel. You might not even have to leave town to experience a night of classic atmosphere. 34. Attend the Olympics. Whatever you say about the commercialism of the Olympic Games, they are one of the biggest events on the planet. 35. Meet your favorite (living) travel writer. They’ve inspired you; now thank them for it. 36. Travel to Germany to experience Love Parade. It’s one of the biggest festivals, attendance-wise, on the planet. 37. Partake in a Japanese Tea Ceremony. This timeless tradition is at the heart of Japanese culture. 38. Join a caravan in the Sahara. See how people can thrive in one of the world’s harshest environments. 39. Go to Oktoberfest. The meeting of over 6 million beer afficionados and drinking song singers is one of the biggest parties in Europe. 40. Stand at the North or South Pole. 41. Be in the stands when two rival South American club teams play each other in soccer. Soccer (sorry, football) is a passion for most of the world’s population. 42. Visit the birthplace or gravesite of a cultural icon. Could be Che Guevara or Picasso or Levi Strauss or the guy who invented widgets; anyone you think is important. 43. Find your version of “The Beach.” One of the best travel books ever inspired a generation of backpackers. Why not find your own version of untouched paradise? 44. Enjoy a freshly rolled cigar in Cuba. Taste a hand rolled specialty close to its source. 45. Visit every capital city in Europe. The crowded continent is full of beautiful architecture and diverse cultures. 46. Watch an orchestral performance in Vienna. 47. Skydive. It is the ultimate thrill, unless you add a wingsuit, and actually fly. 48. Bike the Pacific Coast Highway. 49. Shake hands with someone who has truly changed a country. 50. Participate in the world’s biggest water fight during Thailand’s New Year’s festivities (Songkran). Current Mood: smooth (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 8th, 2008
12:07 pm	Cheap Dates 1. Free factory tours (Free Beer). There are all types of different factories that offer free or very low-cost tours of their premises. Microbreweries are great for this, they are educational and you often get free beer samples, and who can say no to free beer? If free beer is not your thing there are also factory tours for places ranging from chocolate shops to piano makers. 2. Cook a low budget meal together. If you’re not meeting a stranger for a first date then it’s safe to get together in your kitchen and cook a terrific meal together. If you choose dishes and ingredients wisely, it costs a lot less than going out to dinner. Plus the act of cooking together will add romance and creativity to the night. 3. Free classes and lectures. There are all sorts of free classes offered in most communities and they often make for great dates. Learn to host your own television show at a Public Access TV training session or get the basics of a language down together at the local library. Free event lectures are also great for learning together on a date. 4. Art gallery openings. You don’t have to absolutely love art to have a great date at one of these events. They offer free wine, snacks and a place for conversation. Who needs more than that? 5. Stargazing. When was the last time that you took a blanket out into the yard and cuddled up to look at the stars? It’s one of the most romantic activities out there and yet we often forget about it. During the day, find shapes in the clouds together. 6. Home improvement projects. The DIY lifestyle is one of the best ways that people save money in their lives but it’s a whole lot more fun when you’re not doing it alone. You and your sweetie can get together and make bookcases or frame magazine photos for art or reupholster old furniture together and you’ll probably find that you have a really good time. 7. Penny arcades. These places have made a comeback in recent years. They don’t always cost just a penny anymore but you can play games for a long time on less than $20 which is a whole lot less than more modern arcades. 8. Student screenings and shows. If there are colleges in your area, there are free student events. Fashion programs have seasonal fashion shows. Art students have gallery showings. Film students screen their work. Go see this stuff with someone you like a lot. 9. Parks. The park is a great place for good dates. Challenge yourself to visit every park in your city or state so it’s even more of an adventure. Or spend some time playing around on the playground for a nostalgic good time. 10. Play dress up. You love getting all dolled up before a big date, right? Skip the expensive date part and just play dress-up together. Take digital photos in fancy clothes and costumes and have fun daydreaming about where you’d be going if you were going out. 11. Free music. Concerts are expensive but there are a lot of small venues that have live music for free. Find the places in your area that offer this because it makes for a great cheap date. 12. Throw board game nights at your home. Sometimes the best dates are group dates. Get together with the people you know on a regular or semi-regular basis and have everyone bring some board games for a great time together. 13. Open mic poetry nights. Coffee shops and bars around the nation host weekly open mic poetry nights that are fun to attend. Be a good date and write a love poem to read to the person that you’re taking to this event. 14. Go nature hunting. Head to the beach together and search for the perfect seashell on the sand. Or go to the countryside and find the best wildflowers for a tabletop bouquet. If you’re not a fan of taking things out of their place in nature, take a camera along and capture what you find in images instead. 15. Make art together. Being creative together is something that can really enhance a relationship and it’s something that doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Tear up old magazines to make collages and scrapbooks. Buy a big box of crayons and color together. The point isn’t the product but the process. 16. Go house hunting. You may not be in the market to buy a home but it doesn’t cost anything to look. Attend the open house events that are held for rentals and for-sale homes in your area. 17. Flea markets, swap meets and yard sales. Shopping is a lot more fun when you do it with someone else and it’s better when you do it on the cheap. Go browsing through other people’s junk and see if there are any low-cost treasures to be found. 18. Get active. Exercise is good for your body and it gives you those good feelings that make you like your partner even more. Go for the free activities like jogging, hiking, at-home yoga and bicycling together. 19. Say yes to invitations. Anytime that you’re invited to a party or work event, say yes. Then take a date along with you to make it all the more fun. 20. Test drive cars together. Gone are the days when it was inexpensive to just go for long drives together. Cars can still be romantic, though, and it’s a lot of fun to go test drive luxury vehicles that you’re not really going to buy. 21. Look for city events. Parades, walking tours, street festivals and other events happen in all areas all throughout the year. As long as you don’t buy things from the vendors, these dates are free. 22. Feed the ducks. A bag of bread doesn’t cost much but it can go a long way towards making you feel like a kid again and that’s one of the best experiences that you can bring to a date. 23. Volunteer. There are tons of different places where you can volunteer your time and a lot of them provide enjoyable experiences as you give back to your community. Do it as a date to double the fun. 24. Build a bonfire. Whether it’s on the beach or in the backyard, nothing’s going to warm you up more than being by the fire with someone you want to make sparks with. 25. Coffee, ice cream and happy hour dates. If you need to go on a date where you get to know someone new or you just want to get out of the house on the cheap then you want to look for inexpensive food and drink dates. Skip the big dinner and just get dessert. Or skip the cocktails and go to $1 well drinks night at the local bar. 26. Dance in the rain. There doesn’t actually have to be rain. Dance on a bridge. Dance in the street. Dance passionately or in a silly way. 27. Free days at museums. Some museums are free all of the time but even those that aren’t always free typically have one free day each week or month. Explore science museums, history museums and art museums together at no cost. 28. Go to the garden. Somewhere in your town is a garden waiting to be discovered by you and your darling. Public rose gardens, gardens in front of government buildings and private gardens with free tours are some of your options. Alternatively, you can always start your own garden together. 29. People watch. Go to an airport, a mall or a public square and sit down together to watch the people. Make up stories about who they are and where they’re going. 30. Make life lists together. This is an activity that is fun in and of itself but it also lets you brainstorm ideas for future low-cost dates. Together, you compile a list of all of the things that you haven’t done yet in life but want to. It could be as simple as “put all of my pictures in a photo album” or as involved as “climb a mountain in every national park in the U.S.” You’ll get to know yourselves and each other better and you’ll get new ideas for things to do together in the months to come. Current Mood: smooth (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:06 pm	Like Perhaps the most basic statement of how we work. Think about what you are thinking today. What do those thoughts say about you? About your life? And how well do they really match your plans for your life and your image of yourself? It’s easy to forget about this simple statement in everyday life. It’s easy to be quite incongruent with what you think on an ordinary day compared to how you view yourself and your goals. A simple external reminder such as a post-it with this quote can be helpful to keep you and your thoughts on the right track. An brilliant and beautiful expansion on this thought can be found in James Allen’s As a man thinketh (that can be downloaded for free here). 2. Simplify. “It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.” “If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.” If you want to improve your life then it’s tempting to want to add more. One problem with this may be that you don’t really have the time or energy to do more though. And so your efforts to improve become short-lived. Adding more and more just creates more stress and anxiety. Removing clutter and activities, tasks and thoughts that are not so important frees up time and energy for you to do more of what you really want to do. And as the clutter in your outer world decreases the clutter in your inner world also has a tendency to decrease. This has the added benefit of making it easier to actually enjoy whatever you are doing even more while you are doing it. Adding more thoughts and thinking things over for the 111:th time may create a sense of security. It’s also a good way to procrastinate and to avoid taking that leap you know you should take. And the more you think, the harder it gets to act. Perhaps because you want to keep that comforting sense of security and avoid the risk of wrecking that feeling. Thinking has its place. It can help you plan a somewhat realistic route to your goal and help you avoid future pitfalls. Overthinking is however just a habit that will help you waste a lot of time. It’s more useful to replace that habit with the habit of just doing it. 3. Learn about yourself in interactions. “To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person.” The one person that is the hardest to get to really know may be yourself. Studying yourself while you are alone may result in some insights. But it’s also likely to produce a lot of made up thought loops and doubts in your mind. A good way to really learn more about yourself is study yourself in interactions with other people. How people react and act in these interaction can over time teach you a lot. And what you think and how you react can perhaps teach you even more. What you see, feel and hear in other people may be a reflection of you. The things you learn by thinking this way may not always be pleasant, but they can be enlightening. They help you to see yourself and also how you may be fooling yourself. And these powerful insights can be very valuable for your personal growth. So, in interactions with others, try asking yourself: what is reflected? 4. Do not divide. “Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against.” This is a very useful and powerful thought. It is also one that obviously is hard to live by. Why? I believe it’s because the ego loves to divide and find ways to “add more” to itself. It want’s to feel better than someone else. Or more clever. Or prettier. Or cooler. Or wiser. How can you overcome this way of thinking and feeling? To me it seems to boil down to not identifying so much with your thoughts or feelings. That doesn’t mean that you stop thinking or feeling. It just means that you realize – and remember in your everyday life – that the thoughts and emotions are just things flowing through you. You are not them though. You are the consciousness observing them. When you realize and remember this it enables you to control the thoughts and feelings instead of the other way around. It also enables you to not take your thoughts too seriously and actually laugh at them or ignore them when you feel that your ego is acting out. When you are not being so identified these things you become more inclined to include things, thoughts and people instead of excluding them. This creates a lot of inner and outer freedom and stillness. Instead of fear, a need to divide your world and a search for conflicts. To learn more about this I would recommend Eckhart Tolle’s books and signing up for the 10 free and excellent webcasts - available both in video and audio form – that he’s doing with Oprah right now. 5. Avoid a dependency on validation from others. “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” “Showing off is the fool’s idea of glory.” The ego wants to add because it thinks it’s not enough. One way of doing that is by craving validation from others. We want to feel smart, pretty, successful and so on. And the validation makes you feel good for a while. But soon you need a new fix. And the problem with being dependent on validation from other people is that you let other people control how you feel. This creates a rollercoaster of emotion in your life. To find more emotional stability and to take control of how you feel you need to get your validation from to a more consistent source. Yourself. You can replace the expectations and validation of others by setting your own expectations and by validating yourself. And so you validate yourself by thinking about how awesome you are. You don’t sell yourself short. You appreciate how far you have come and the positive things you have done. You appreciate your own value in the world. You set goals and you achieve those goals. This builds confidence in yourself and in your abilities. These things will help you to build a habit of inner validation. Now, showing off. Why do we do that? To get validation from others. However, this need for validation often shines through and that is why a thing like bragging seldom works. Instead of seeing the cool and successful person you are trying to project people just see the insecure and needy person looking for validation. And your bragging falls flat. 6. Be proactive. “To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.” It’s easy to get locked into a reactive mindset. You just follow along with whatever is happening. You do what the people around you do. You react to whatever is going on. And so you get lost in your circumstances. This way of thinking doesn’t feel too good. You tend to feel powerless and like you are just drifting along. A more useful and pleasurable way of living is to be proactive. As Bruce says: to create opportunities despite the circumstances around you. This feels better and provides better results. But on the other hand it’s also more difficult. It’s easier to just drift along in the reactive stream of life. And if you want to be proactive then you may have to take the lead quite often. And that can be scary. Still, living proactively is so much more rewarding and exciting. 7. Be you. “Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” Just being yourself is a hard thing to do. You may do it sometimes. And other times you may forget or fall back into old thought patterns. Or you may imitate someone else. And that comes through too. And it may work. But I believe that being the real you will work better. Because there the genuine you is shining through. Without incongruency, mixed messages or perhaps a sort of phoniness. It’s you to 100%. It’s you with not only your words but you with your voice tonality and body language – which some say is over 90% of communication - on the same wavelength as your words. It’s you coming through on all channels of communication. So I’m not saying: “yeah man, you should just be yourself because it’s the right thing to do etc.” I’m saying that I think being your authentic self – the one where you do little dividing, the one that needs little validation from others, the one where your ego is not running the show and trying to get something from someone – will give you better results and more satisfaction in your day to day life because you are in alignment with yourself. And because people really like genuine and people really like authenticity. Current Mood: smooth (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 14th, 2008
5:01 pm	Cut corners on toast! Pointless ingenuity Scattered pieces of tasks what waste to laziness Just do it. Ingenuity cost times wasted amount spent worthless focus on objective complete, initiate in repetition work smarter Current Mood: smooth (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 20th, 2008
11:38 am	Eyes that cut Your eyes cut through my callused flesh exposing my heart and soul. the shell I've kept to protect has melted away with you. Im vulnerable to your touch the one that excites and frightens. I remember our meeting and spend life times keeping time from moving forward if only you where here. The adventures through happiness and lust, growth and companionship I would show, teach, give, to you. Current Mood: relaxed Current Music: Renaissance (Movie) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:30 am	DC Poem Cold streets of DC consumes my soul and make me smile. The late hour is dark with unfamiliarity. The air brisk and nice, clean from prior nights showers. People smile when I smile I like friendly people eyes they are the gateway to the soul a smile changes the weather. ipod wired ears fills the mind of symphonies noise. Time Passes with a beat while I tap; my feet. Current Mood: relaxed Current Music: Renaissance (Movie) (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
7:15 am	8-11th of Febuary My weekend was nice and relaxing, on Friday Song, Foisy, and myself went out drinking and watching movies, Saturday I worked a couple of hours making copies for all the marines medical records, then I headed out to brunch "Chinese", then did a little shopping bought a new watch, washed my Jeep and went to Wilmington. Went out for O' Charlies for dinner had some Kamikazi Shots.  Sunday with my friend Elisha ran some errands, went to the book store, drew a pictures, and relaxed took a nap, went out for Mexican food. Current Mood: relaxed Current Music: Diggnation - World of Diggnation-Revision3-Diggnation (Small Quicktime) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 2nd, 2008
5:40 pm	Charisma - 8 steps My Inspiration I was helping my partner Adam prepare for an interview last night. At one point, I had explained to him the power of Mirroring and that it can make others feel more comfortable around you. When I first heard about Mirroring, I was told that “If you’re afraid that the other person will get suspicious of you mimicking them, then you must be the type of person who thinks that people are actually listening when you’re talking.” I mentioned this and we laughed at it. I said, “Trust me, just try it out. It really works.” We went off on another topic and he asked me a question about usability testing in software. I went on answering it, and 10 minutes went by and I was still talking. It felt as if I couldn’t stop talking. When I finally finished covering all areas of software usability testing (including excruciating details that he would have little interest in), he burst out laughing. So, apparently, he used mirroring on me. And it worked. What’s amazing is that it worked on me after having just told him about it. I didn’t even have a clue that he was mirroring me. It occurred to me that like-ability can actually be cultivated, like many skills. What are these skills? Aside from being polite and respectful, there are several specific things we can pay particular attention to. I’m not asking you to pretend, but be aware of these things when engaged in a conversation. The little things make a big difference in how others perceive us. 1. Mirroring This simple technique was the inspiration for this article. Mirroring is copying the other person’s physical mannerisms, movements and facial expressions when engaged in a conversation. You become a mirror image of the other person. (see Wikipedia) Mirroring happens naturally in social interactions, but when you are conscious of it and are aware of its affects, it can be used as a tool in effective communication for generating rapport. Mirroring someone closely will cause you to feel what they’re feeling (to some extent). I did an exercise once, in a group of three, during a workshop. One person starts by visualizing a scene; seeing, feeling and experiencing the scene. A second person imitates this person’s facial expressions and physical postures. A third person adjusts the second person’s facial expressions and physical postures until he thinks that they are identical. After several minutes, the second person explains what she was feeling. Not only does the second person feel the feelings of the first person, but will at times see what the first person is seeing in his imagination. I was blown away after trying this out, myself. Next time you’re engaged in a conversation with someone, try mirroring body language, posture, and facial expressions. You will find that the conversation suddenly feels very friendly and open. For example, you are sitting across the table from someone. You watch them pick up a glass of water with their left hand and gently lean forward, then to the right. You mirror them by holding your glass of water with your right hand, leaning forward and towards the left. Try it next time … just for fun. :) 2. Remembering Names Personally, I’m always impressed when others I’ve just met remember my name and use it in a sentence. Since birth, our parents, teachers, friends, and family, have hard wired the sound of our name in our brain. It is certain to get your attention, instantly. It makes you feel important and respected, filling our desire for attention and love. Recall the last time someone who you just met parted by declaring “Nice to meet you, [insert your name]!” Weren’t you impressed? They are clearly interested in you enough to remember your name, and you want to show them the same respect. Always make an effort to remember people’s names. Here are some techniques to help you. 3. Be Interested People love talking about themselves, seriously. Ask questions that the other person will enjoy answering. If it’s a complete stranger, start with the basics and dig deeper. Rephrase their words to make sure you really understand what they’re saying. You can think of this technique as verbal mirroring. By asking questions about their interests or feelings, you are mirroring their interest in themselves. Really listen when the person is answering. Only when you are listening will you actually absorb what was said and will actually feel interested. If you run into a boring conversation, find ideas that do interest you and re-focus the conversation. Ask questions. Make it a game. 4. Allowing Others to Talk In addition to asking questions, it’s important to allow the other person to talk. This means, stop talking. Stop talking about yourself, stop inserting your opinions, refrain from interrupting. Next time you’re engaged in a conversation, practice not saying anything after asking a question. This might mean not speaking for several minutes *gasp*. Even when the other person appears to be finished, practice not speaking for 30 seconds. Often times, the person is still thinking, is actually pausing, and will start speaking again. By doing so, you will get a lot more depth from that person. Many girlfriends I know have the interruption problem, myself included. Pay particular attention to this skill, you’ll be amazed at the wealth of thoughtful goodness coming from your partner. Being a patient listener is a great way to connect with and get to know people. Try it: ask a question and then zip up. Listen and learn. 5. Intention Send out the intention that you would like to get to know this person better, to really listen to them and to be there for them. I’m always amazed at the power of intention, which I believe is the seed for starting anything, whether it is a goal or a friendship. Make a wish for the other person. Send out a positive intention for your interaction. 6. Offer Help We are mostly self seeking and are driven by motivations that benefit us, with the exception of some extreme cases and parent-child relationships. But let’s face-it, we are self-seeking most of the time because it is a natural part of our survival instincts. Even if we are working on a good cause, we almost always have a reason for helping that is personally beneficial. When others genuinely offer their help, we feel particularly fond of them. Why? Offering help is a kind gesture that implies a respect and admiration for you. And when we put ourselves in their shoes, wouldn’t it be advantageous to offer help to others? I’m a big believer in giving more than I take in return. And my personal motto: “To get what you want, help others get what they want, first.” Find a need that others have that you can provide. Offer help. Even just a casual email offering help will make the world of difference towards how this person feels about you. 7. Smile “Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” ~ Mother Teresa Do you remember how you felt when you saw a genuine smile? Or awkwardly standing in an elevator full of strangers and suddenly someone smiles at you? It really is contagious and shifts your state to a positive one. Smile genuinely. Start by smiling at friends. Try lifting the spirits of passing strangers. 8. Authenticity Any of the above techniques will work by themselves, but become highly effective only when combined with authenticity. Always be genuine and be your complete self, no more and no less. When you are completely honest and speaking from your heart, you will exuberate a kind of energy that people cannot help but to connect with. In that moment, you are pure, expressive, and radiating your true self. When others see and recognize that side of you, they are really seeing a reflection of that part of themselves. Just be yourself. Summary: 1. Mirroring 2. Remember Names 3. Be Interested 4. Allow Others to Talk 5. Intention 6. Offer Help 7. Smile 8. Authenticity Current Mood: relaxed Current Music: Diggnation - World of Diggnation-Revision3-Diggnation (Small Quicktime) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 19th, 2008
11:40 am	Rules Kids Won't Learn in School Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule #1. Rule #2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1) Rule #3. Sorry, you won't make $50,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label. Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he is not going ask you how feel about it. Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend. Rule #6. It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it or you'll sound like a baby boomer. Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom. Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Nor even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as polite as Jennifer Aniston. Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could. Rule #11. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be kid. Maybe you should start now. Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 13th, 2008
8:36 am	40 Tips for an Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life in 2008! 1.Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. 2.Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to. 3.Record your late night shows and get more sleep. 4.When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to____ today." 5.Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy. 6.Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2007. 7.Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives. 8.Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6. 9.Dream more while you are awake. 10.Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants. 11.Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts. 12.Try to make at least three people smile each day. 13.Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life. 14.Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment. 15.Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime. 16.Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid. 17.Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away. 18.Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 19.Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 20.Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 21.You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 22.Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 23.Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 24.Burn the candles, use the nice bed sheets, Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 25.No one is in charge of your happiness except you. 26.Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?" 27.Forgive everyone for everything. 28.What other people think of you is none of your business. 29.Time heals almost everything. Give time, time. 30.However good or bad a situation is, it will change. So stop complaining about the weather, the job, the rents etc etc. 31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch. 32.Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. 33.Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 34.The best is yet to come. 35.No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 36.Do the right thing! 37.Call your family often. 38.Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: " am thankful for ___." Today I accomplished ____. 39.Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed. 40.Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride Current Mood: complacent (Comment on this)
Monday, December 24th, 2007
8:55 pm	CrossFit Burpees Burpee -> wmv Gluteus Stores of Lipids, strain my sad tired frame. The cow covered hands bounded by Velcro, weep. CrossFit that makes us Elite, and beat with strain. Eighty Below and not cold but cool, how weak. But to never die, again to try and never defeat. Only Eighty Below and so low and with gain. For only two sun and moons will reap rest. CrossFit will make or break me too my best. only 80 out of 150 in 25 min Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Stone Sour Omega (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 4th, 2007
2:26 pm	:) Smile, just because you can. Current Mood: lazy Current Music: Start The Commotion-The Wiseguys Feat. Greg Nice-Now That's What I Call Music! Vol. 8 (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 5th, 2007
11:27 am	Work Work the drug of the Adults, so Addictive. Current Mood: complacent Current Music: Catharsis for Dummies-A Wilhelm Scream (1 Comment |Comment on this)